Beer: What's the Difference?
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Over Spring Break, the Box and I embarked on a ski trip with my fam (and a few folks from our church) to Breckenridge, Colorado. The weather was great and the snow was equally satisfying. The Box and I got to ski at 3 different areas (Arapahoe Basin, Breckenridge, and Vail), nearly broke our legs and skis trying to perform a 360 on an obnoxiously big jump, and lost my little brother on the slopes during our first day for an undisclosed amount of time. All in all it was a fine trip.Every evening we would gather together for a rather large family dinner, where we would break bread together and share our various mishaps from the day. The meal usually centered around fellowship, but was always full of hilarity and prodding. -- The evening of The Beer Tasting was no exception.
You see, there was a long-standing quarrel in the Haug family over the difference between light beers, or the lack thereof. My dad was on one side and most everyone else on the other (my step-mom being the strongest opposed). Basically, the majority argument went like this: A trained palette can tell the difference between the major light beers. The Beer Tasting was the logical climax to the heated debate. Which side would prevail?
Here were the stated rules of governance: There would be 4 beers - Miller Lite, Coors Light, Keystone, and Bud Light. Each contestant would be blindfolded by the Minister of Beer (myself), the beers would be poured into 4 separate cups and administered one at a time, and the contestant could taste all 4 before making up his/her mind on each one. Once the final answers were given, the results (and verdict) would be revealed.
One by one the contestants approached the table of truth, and each time they failed (much to the delight of my dad). Each contestant seemed to have his/her own strategy: slowly taking each one in, using all of the senses before making a determination, tasting each one 10 times, and my personal strategy of chugging each one. However, none proved successful, and 50% was the best success rate anyone could muster.
But there was one who had yet to approach the table. One who was more qualified than all the rest. One who was weaned on beer from birth. One who prefers beer with his cereal, instead of the customary milk. One who once killed a man for looking at his beer with lust. This man is…the Box, aka The Hero of Hops, aka The Speculator of Suds, aka The Charlatan of Ale, aka The Epitome of All Things Beer. He approached the table of truth with an arrogant confidence, and tauntingly played to the crowd. One at a time he absorbed the cups of beer into his very existence, pausing once, only to engage his audience in the story. He calmly proclaimed his answers, as if he were simply communicating a truth to mere laymen. By the end of the exhibition there were no doubts – we were in the presence of greatness. All hail the King of Beer!
Labels: kendal
posted by Kendal @ 1:06 PM,
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The Authors
Kendal Haug
Kendal is a graduate of the University of Texas in Austin and most recently earned his Masters in Biblical Studies from Dallas Theological Seminary. He works for Bible.org and likes to think he knows how to play the guitar. His man-crushes include, but are not limited to: Ryan Adams, Donald Miller, Ray LaMontagne, Neil Young, Vince Young, and of course The Box.
Ben Box
Box, is a recent graduate of Texas A&M University and currently works for Medco Construction building hospitals and being important. Ben loves paying lots of money on broken down Jeeps and has a propensity for getting Kendal into trouble.
About This Blog
This is a multi-author blog devoted to the happenings of two bachelors living it up in Big D. We will record the daily nonsense that occurs when 2 life-long friends live together in the same apartment and have no shame, sense of fashion, or chance of meeting a girl in the next 10 years.
A Word on Comments
Ben and Kendal both highly encourage your comments. They look forward to hearing your thoughts and insights. No matter how harsh the criticism or if you just want to give them a good ole pat on the back and say "Way to Go!" or "Ha! That was a funny story!" or "That Ben sure does crack me up." And if you have a request of something you would like to see Ben and Kendal do or write about, let them know.
Disclaimer
Ben and Kendal are in no way responsible for stories that may worry, upset, or lead their parents to altogether disown them.
